Raison d'être
by Bloody Sunrise
Summary: When the tragedies in Sakura's life become too much to bear,she leaves the village to live a solitary existence,intent on avoiding the pain of loss.But as the loneliness becomes too much to endure, a face from the past may give her a new reason for living
1. Chapter 1

**AN:**** This fic is going to be a little different from your normal Ita/Saku fics. The main part of the story will be set in several years in the future and the circumstances**** will be quite different. Also I have the next two chapters finished, so if you guys like what I have so far the review and let me know.**

**Thats it...Oh yeah I forgot: I do not own Naruto or any of the characters. If I did Itachi would kill Sasuke and run away with Sakura.**

**On with the story!**

* * *

**Raison d'être **(plural raisons d'être[2 or raison d'être) 

1. The claimed reason for the existence of something or someone; the purpose of something or someone.

2. A "reason for being"

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**PROLOGUE**

The sun shone brightly over a clear sky as a single figure moved through the open field. Her long pink hair wafting gently behind her. A pure white wedding gown, stained with blood, brushed gently against the long blades of grass. Her right hand clutched an unsheathed katana, her left held a bloody Konoha hitai-ate. Silent tears streaked down her face as she continued to walk, alone.

-

* * *

-

The day Sakura was assigned to team 7 her life took a dramatic turn for the worse.

It's true that through this random assignment she was able to find friendship and strength, but what she lost as a result outweighed everything she gained.

Sasuke's decision to leave in search of power set off a chain reaction that ripped away everything she held dear. Sound's first attack on the village, several years after the chunin exams, claimed the lives of both her parents. They were simply civilians who got caught in the crossfire.

After the news that Sasuke had killed Orochimaru and set off to find his brother, Sakura and Naruto decided they needed to become stronger. They trained as hard as they could, becoming two of the strongest shinobi in the village.

They were accepted to ANBU and were placed on a team specifically created to retrieve Sasuke. It took them almost a year to catch up to him but they finally did. When Sasuke refused to return with them, the battle began.

Sakura and their other teammates took on Sasuke's companions while Naruto took on Sasuke himself. Naruto succeeded in holding him off until he activated the curse-seal. By then it was clear that whatever vestiges of humanity Sasuke had were gone.

When Sakura called out to him, he attacked her, the intent to kill written clearly on his face. Naruto was forced to release five of the Kyuubi's tails in order to stop him. The cries of Rasengan and Chidori could be heard for miles.

In the end she lost them both. She tried in vain to heal Naruto but not even the Nine-tail's power could save him from the gaping hole in his chest that the chidori created.

Through it all, Sakura never once considered herself unlucky.

-

* * *

**Chapter 1**

-

After their deaths, Sakura left ANBU. She had had enough fighting. She took over for Tsunade at the hospital, hoping that in time she would be able to heal herself.

Although she had survived the final confrontation with relatively few injuries, she knew that the wounds to her heart would be nearly impossible to heal. She didn't think she would ever be truly happy again... until she met him.

His name was Akio, he was an injured ANBU that she had been treating. He sweet, fairly attractive, and surprisingly upbeat for an ANBU. He was the first person to make her laugh since Naruto's death.

On the day he was released from the hospital, he asked her out for coffee. Six months later they were engaged. She was happy with him and for the first time in many years, she was at peace. She was finally able to let go of the past and move forward. She loved him and was ready to spend the rest of her life with him.

-

But nothing lasts forever…

-

It was during her final dress fitting, a week before the wedding, that she got the news. His squad had been attacked by rogue ninjas on their way back to the village. She rushed to the hospital, still wearing her wedding dress.

By the time she got there, he was already gone. She sat there, clutching his lifeless body to her chest, sobbing.

He was gone and she had finally broken.

All the wounds that had begun to heal had just been reopened and the hole in her heart had grown larger than ever.

She sat their for what seemed like hours, until the medics pulled her away, saying they needed to take his body. The surviving members of his squad gave her his katana and hitai-ate, saying how sorry they were. But their words fell on deaf ears.

She finally found the strength to leave the hospital but found she had no desire to go home. There was nothing there but an empty apartment and the memories of her now shattered life. So she simply walked, with no real destination.

By the time she noticed her surroundings, she was at the village gate. It was then that she decided what to do. She gripped the katana tightly and marched through the gates, intent on finding the men who murdered her fiancé.

-

* * *

- 

Itachi flew through the dense forest, his Akatsuki cloak fluttering behind him. He was alone for this mission, as there was no need for a partner for something as simple as this. Then again, he had no real need for a partner on most missions.

The only reason he was assigned to work with Kisame in the first place was to retrieve the Kyuubi. Now that the Kyuubi was dead his partnership was unnecessary.

However his true disappointment lay not in the end of the Kyuubi, and there by his Akatsuki mission, but in the death of his brother. Not that he was saddened by his brother's death, merely disappointed that all his plans for him were now moot.

Sasuke was supposed to be _his _death. Not because of any guilt he had over his clan's demise, there was none. Simply because he wanted his death to be at the hands of someone worthy, someone strong, and most importantly an Uchiha.

Now with his eyesight diminishing, he would be forced to wait for some weak ANBU squad to get the drop on him and take advantage of his vulnerability. Not exactly the honorable death he had envisioned.

And now with the Akatsuki's numbers so severely diminished, he was forced to carry out simple missions, not at all befitting a ninja of his status. Not that he lamented the deaths of his former comrades in the least, aside from the fact that he was now forced to carry out such mind-numbing tasks.

However, the fact that so many members of the Akatsuki had been taken out by a handful of chunin, lead him to believe that their deaths were rather justified. It would have been different if they had been eliminated by a large number of specially trained ANBU elites. Death at the hands of an ANBU squad would have been preferable, not to mention more fitting, for shinobi of their _supposed_ caliber.

At the moment he was seriously considering ending his association with the Akatsuki. Despite the fact that membership is supposed to be life long, their growing weakness was something he could no longer ignore.

He only joined them to test the limits of his own power against that of the strongest group of ninja alive. Now it appeared that they no longer deserved that title.

-

* * *

- 

Sakura wandered through open fields and dense forests, still wearing the beautiful gown that she was going to be married in. She traced the path that the ANBU team had taken after escaping from the rogues. She finally stumbled upon the rogue-nin's chakra signature.

She paused for a moment to place her fiancé's bloody hitai-ate on her forehead.

This would be her last act as a leaf shinobi.

-

* * *

- 

Itachi paused for a moment, landing gracefully on a tree branch. He'd been tracking a group of rogue-nins that were in possession of a scroll that the Akatsuki wanted. Apparently the ANBU squad he'd been sent to retrieve it from had been attacked by these rogues and they had stolen it from the ANBU.

But now he could sense something going on with the rogues. There had just been several flare-ups of chakra and what sounded like the screams of dying men. But now everything had gone silent. Their was only one chakra signature left and it was very weak.

Itachi pushed off from the branch he was standing on and headed towards the source of the weak chakra. Retrieving this scroll was becoming more troublesome by the minute.

He reached the edge of the clearing that held the single chakra source. He concealed himself high in the trees to assess the situation. What he saw surprised him. He had expected to find an ANBU squad, come to take back their stolen scroll. That was clearly _not_ the case.

The clearing was littered with the bodies of the rogue-nins, and standing in the center of the destruction was a single figure. A woman with long pink hair, wearing what appeared to be a wedding dress covered in blood. She held a single katana and Konoha hitai-ate gleamed on her forehead.

He was very intrigued. It appeared that this petite kunoichi had single handedly taken out over twenty rogue-nins, and wearing a wedding dress no less. This could become very interesting.

-

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**So, what do you think. Should I continue?**

**Please review and tell me If it's any good. If you guys like it I got some fan art I could post for you.**

**I know it's kinda like blackmail but if I get 15 reviews I'll put up a drawing I did of Sakura in her wedding dress splatterd in blood.**

**- **


	2. Chapter 2

**I do not own Naruto or any of the characters. If I did Itachi would kill Sasuke and run away with Sakura.**

* * *

**Raison d'être **(plural raisons d'être[2 or raison d'être) 

1. The claimed reason for the existence of something or someone; the purpose of something or someone.

2. A "reason for being"

* * *

**Chapter 2**

Itachi carefully scanned the area for other chakra signatures and upon finding none, dropped to the ground and walked towards the woman. Despite his curiosity, he still had a mission to complete, and the woman was standing next to the body of the leader of the group.

She made no attempt to even acknowledge his presence as he approached her. As he got closer to her he noticed her smeared make-up and the dried tear tracks. Despite her obvious lack of emotional control, he had to give her credit. Taking down a large group of rogue-nins, armed with a single katana was impressive, especially given her obviously grief-stricken state of mind.

He paused in front of her, staring at her tear-stained face. He was certain that he had seen her before but was unable to remember where. She turned her head slowly, taking in his appearance before staring into his eyes.

The moment he saw her emerald eyes, he knew who she was. She had been a teammate of his brother and the Kyuubi. The foolish little girl who had been obsessed with Sasuke. However the woman in front of him was quite different than that girl.

He remembered the last time he had seen her, she was weak, but her eyes held a fire and determination that surprised him. The woman standing before was clearly much stronger but her eyes were empty. Completely devoid of anything. It was almost a shame. Such determination and fire was a rarity among shinobi.

He turned his gaze to the body lying behind her and continued to approach it. As he crouched down to retrieve the scroll, he heard the woman move behind him. He chose to ignored it. Regardless of her abilities, she was too low on chakra to be any threat to him.

He stood and turned just in time to see the woman disappear into the forest he had just come from. He started off in the same direction, curious to see what she would do now.

* * *

Sakura wandered through the forest in a daze. She had done it. She had killed them all…and now she felt nothing. She couldn't even manage to feel afraid that she had just stood toe-to-toe with Itachi Uchiha. She couldn't even bring herself to feel the slightest bit concerned that he was now following her. She knew he was there but somehow it didn't seem to register.

She looked down at herself and saw the bloodstains covering her once beautiful gown. She stopped walking and just stared for a moment, before stabbing her katana in the ground and slowly unclenching her stiff fingers from around the hilt.

She lifted a shaking, bloodstained hand to the back of her dress and slid the zipper down. She pulled the dress off slowly and was left wearing her tight black shorts and white bindings around her chest. She held the dress in front of her for a moment, staring at the crimson stains.

It was covered in _his_ blood. It was proof that he was gone. Proof that she had failed to save him. She gently folded the dress and placed it on the ground placing his hitai-ate on top of it. Taking a step back, she quickly formed a few hand signs and with the last of her chakra, set the dress on fire.

She sat down on a fallen log and simply watched the fire burn.

* * *

The sun had long since set and the girl hadn't moved from her position except to add some wood to the fire. Itachi continued to watch her as she stared into the fire. She was a very strange girl, not to mention foolish. She had burned her only set of clothing and was now sitting on a log, in the middle of the forest, wearing nothing but shorts and chest bindings.

She shivered slightly and he smirked at her thoughtlessness. Although, her foolish choice to burn her clothes was giving him quite the show. He had a chance to study her as he sat there watching. Her creamy skin and petite appearance masked her finely toned physique, no doubt achieved by years of strenuous training. She was muscular but not overly so. Her body was lean and flexible, allowing for faster and more graceful movements.

He almost wished he could have been there to see her dispatch those rogue-nins. She was probably a very graceful fighter. He could also see several scars marring her pale skin, however he had always admired shinobi who could wear their scars proudly and kunoichi were no exception.

He could have continued his evaluation of her all night, but he noticed that she had turned her head in his direction. She was staring at the exact spot where he was sitting but he knew she couldn't see him in the dark. He wondered if she had finally sensed him.

She spoke softly but he was able to hear her perfectly. "Are you planning on sitting there and watching me all night or was there something you wanted?"

He smiled inwardly. She had known he was there all along and had done nothing. He dropped from the branch he had been crouching on and stepped into view.

She stared at him for a moment before turning back to the fire.

"Itachi Uchiha. Have you come to kill me?" she asked, her voice flat and emotionless.

"If I wanted to kill you kunoichi, you would already be dead." he said in an equally emotionless voice.

Though his face was completely blank, he was actually intrigued by this girl even more now. She appeared to be unafraid of death. She even sounded as though she would welcome it. It had been some time since he had met someone who was not afraid of him and it was quite refreshing.

Contrary to popular opinion, he was not a sadist. He derived no pleasure from the fear his presence instilled in others, nor did in enjoy killing. He had no aversion to killing people when they were in the way or those who posed a threat, but he did so only when necessary.

The only time he ever enjoyed killing was when he killed his clan, but he had his own reasons for that.

"So…for what reason have you decided to grace me with your presence?" She said sarcastically.

He smirked slightly at her shift in attitude but made no attempt to answer her question. He moved to the other side of the small fire and sat opposite her.

She sighed softly, realizing that he had no intention of answering her.

"I assume you were here for the scroll that those rogues stole from the ANBU squad. Am I right?" She asked.

He stared at her for a moment, as if deciding whether to confirm or deny her suspicions. He quickly decided that she was no threat to him and that there was no reason not to tell her. He nodded in confirmation.

"So now that you know why I was there, why don't you tell me what you were doing there, and in a wedding dress no less." He said, genuinely curious.

She paused for a moment before answering. "I was wearing my wedding dress because I was in shock when I left the village and I didn't realize I was still wearing it." she answered honestly. "And as for _why_ I was there well…I went there to kill them all." Her expression mirrored his own, blank and emotionless. The same look he had seen on her when she was standing amidst the bodies of the men she'd killed.

He didn't like this look on her. It was boring him. He knew she still had some fire in her and he wanted to see it. That fire she had when he first met her, years ago, was very entertaining.

"So you knew I was after the scroll that the ANBU were protecting and yet you did nothing to stop me?" He asked, his eyebrow raised.

"Even if I could have stopped you, why would I?" she asked harshly.

He could see small sparks, lighting up in her eyes and dying embers struggling to stay alight. He decided to push her a bit further.

"You are a Konoha shinobi, are you not. Are you not loyal to your village?"

He watch the dying embers begin to glow brighter as an unknown emotion flickered across her face.

"I am no longer affiliated with any of the hidden villages. So no, I am not a Konoha shinobi." she said, her voice struggling to contain her emotions.

He pulled the scroll he took, out of his pocket, and just held it in his hands.

He wanted to give her one last push to ignite the flames in her eyes.

"You don't even know what this scroll is. It could have a forbidden jutsu that would destroy the world. And you're just going to sit there and let myself and the Akatsuki have it?"

He had been hoping to make to kunoichi angry, he wanted to see her lash out. It was probably cruel to purposely harass her about subjects that were obviously sore points for her, simply to alleviate his own boredom. But he'd never been accused of being kind.

Now he'd tried to make her lose her temper by implying that, through her incompetence as a shinobi, she would be the cause of whatever destruction that the Akatsuki caused.

However, he never counted on her being completely apathetic.

She looked at the scroll and then up to stare into his eyes. "Well, If that's the case Uchiha…then I guess I'll see you in hell." Her lips formed a slight smirk as she stood and walked away from the campsite.

That certainly wasn't the response he expected.

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**First I'd like to thank everyone who reviewed my first chapter  
**

**nickeledwards  
roxnroll  
j  
Goddess Psyche**

**You all rock! **

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**Okay now...what did you think of his chapter?**

**Please Review **


	3. Chapter 3

**Message to reviewer 'j':** Thank you soo much for your review. I was kinda worried that Itachi seemed to OOC, but you have put my fears to rest.

**Message to reviewer "karleta-chan":** I really appreciate you taking the time to read my story. As for what will happen next...well you'll just have to find out. (And about the clothes, well I'm not sure. Maybe she'll decide to go naked forever. That would certainly make Itachi happy.

Normally I would PM these reviewers to give a response but sadly they weren't signed in or they don't have an account. If you don't have an account I would suggest getting one so you can keep track of all the stories you read and so the authors can PM you to respond.

**  
**

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**AN: I just realized that I haven't mentioned any ages yet so here they are.**

**Sakura and Naruto learn of Orochimaru's death when the were 16, they joined ANBU at 17 and they were almost 18 when Naruto and Sasuke had their final confrontation. Sakura was 19 when she met Akio (the guy she was gonna marry) and she was almost 20 when he was killed.**

**So when the story picks back up now, she 23 and Itachi is 28.**

AN2: Inner Sakura makes an appearance in this chapter so the lines in **Bold** are inner Sakura and the lines in _italics_ are regular Sakura.

**I do not own Naruto or any of the characters. If I did Itachi would kill Sasuke and run away with Sakura.**

* * *

This chapter is dedicated to my cousin, Lance.  
Who, even though he knows nothing about Naruto, decided to read my work anyway.

Thanks Lance.

* * *

**Raison d'être **(plural raisons d'être[2 or raison d'être) 

1. The claimed reason for the existence of something or someone; the purpose of something or someone.

2. A "reason for being"

* * *

**Chapter 3**

_3 years later_

Sakura brushed the dark hair out of her face as she made her way down the dirt road. The streets were deserted at this time of night and she welcomed the solitude. She'd spent the last three years on the move, trying to keep one step ahead of the ANBU. Apparently after she was officially declared a missing-nin, several countries dispatched ANBU to capture her.

Sakura's medical skills were well known, and the fact that she had been the apprenticed to the fifth Hokage just made her even more wanted. They all believed that she had top secret information about Konoha, and to countries not allied with them, that sort of information could prove very useful.

Unfortunately for them, even if she had this type of information, she would never give it up. Despite the fact that she became a missing-nin of her own free will, she would never betray Konoha.

So, her only choice was to run. She changed her appearance with every new village she stayed in and was careful to stick to small villages with no ninja presence. She was fairly content, offering up her medical services to the village, staying for a few months, and then leaving as quietly as she came.

And so here she was, walking back to her small apartment after a long day at the local clinic.

Sakura fidgeted with her yukata. She never did get used to wearing civilian clothes. But there she was, wearing a black yukata with a deep purple obi, her black hair blowing across her face. Life wasn't perfect by any means, but she survived. She continued on with no reason for living except to honor Naruto's memory.

She knew that he would be disappointed if she just gave up. He always told her to never give up. He always did everything he could to keep moving forward. She knew he would want her to do the same.

* * *

Itachi walked with purposeful strides toward the medical clinic. There had been rumors of a skilled medic here that could cure almost anything, and he was in desperate need of her abilities. 

He had gone completely blind a month ago and had been searching for a good medic ever since. He could still see with the sharingan activated but now that was dimming as well. He was still able to function fine without his eyesight but it made dealing with ANBU squads much more difficult.

Itachi opened the door of the clinic and stepped inside.

"Hello, how can I help you?" the young woman behind the admittance desk asked.

"I'm looking for a medic. There were rumors of a medic working here with remarkable healing abilities." He said, turning to look at the receptionist.

"Oh! You must mean Kurozuki Hana?" She said. "She just left for the evening. If you hurry you might still catch her." She said enthusiastically.

Itachi gave a slight nod before turning toward the exit.

* * *

Although living on the run was difficult, it did have it's upside. The fact that Sakura was constantly being pursued forced her to keep her skills sharp. In fact her ANBU skills were sharper than ever. Which is why she instantly sensed when an ominous chakra signature began moving her way. 

She felt only one person following her so she knew it was not ANBU. They would have come with at least a four-man squad. She tensed slightly but kept walking. She unconsciously fingered the edge of her obi, where she kept a number of senbon sewed into the lining.

She felt the chakra moving closer but remained calm and kept walking. She hoped it was just some ninja in need of medical assistance. The chakra signature vanished as a man appeared in front of her. She looked at him questioningly before stifling a gasp.

At first glance he seemed to be just an ordinary man. He had long dark hair, pulled into a loose pony-tail, onyx eyes and no forehead protector. He wore a simple black shirt with netting and black pants. It took her a moment to realize who he was. Uchiha Itachi.

Without his sharingan activated and without his Akatsuki cloak, he looked like a normal ninja.

She waited, nervously, for him to make the first move. He took a slow step forward and it took all of her strength to keep herself from backing up. He gaze was aimed over her shoulder and she was thankful that he wasn't looking into her eyes.

"Are you Kurozuki Hana, the medic I've heard so much about?" he asked.

"Uh…" she was too stunned to answer. Did he really not know who she was, or was he playing some kind of game with her? She decided she would play along and see what happened.

"Y..Yes, I'm Hana. Are you injured?" She asked politely.

His face remained the same cold, emotionless expression she seen on every time they'd met.

"Not exactly, but I am in need of medical attention." He said after a short pause.

She scanned his body with her eyes until she came to the problem. "Your eyes." she whispered.

"Yes." he replied, slightly surprised that she was able to diagnose his problem so quickly. "I went completely blind about a month ago and I have yet to find a medic that is able to fix them. Can you assist me?"

"Well I'm just on my way home right now, but you could come by the clinic in the morning and I could check you out then." she said hoping he would take the bait and wait in the hospital until she had gone. She'd been in this village to long anyway.

Despite the fact that he was being perfectly polite and completely non-threatening, she had no interest in testing her luck by trying to heal him. He could very well remember her chakra signature and decide that she is a threat. Yes it was definitely time for her to move on.

"Actually, it's rather urgent." He said. His smooth, rich voice did nothing to mask the raw power behind it.

She opened her mouth to tell him that she couldn't do it tonight, but the words that came out of her mouth were not her own. "Okay… Um, the clinic's closed now so why don't you come back to my place and I'll see what I can do for your eyes." Sakura nearly slapped a hand over her mouth in surprise.

_What the hell was that!?!_

**ME!**

_What? I thought you were gone._

**Of course I'm not gone. I'm a part of you.**

_Then why haven't I heard from you in three years?_

**There was no reason for me to come out.**

_And now all of the sudden there is!?!_

**Yes.**

_That's it? Yes? Is that all you have to say to me?_

**Pretty much.**

_Why the hell did you invite him back to my apartment!?!_

**Oh come on! You know you didn't want to see him go so soon.**

_Are you delusional? Of course I want him gone. He's Itachi Uchiha! He'll probably kill us after we fix his eyes._

**He didn't try to kill us the last time we saw him.**

…

**Do you really think Itachi Uchiha was going to take no for an answer? He probably would have forced us to help him anyways. This way we're on his good side for doing him a favor.**

_Yeah right. Like he has a good side._

**Oh stop arguing already, he's probably wondering why you're just standing there like an idiot. Take him home already!**

_That sounds so wrong._

Sakura turn her attention to the blind S-Class criminal in front of her. "Um… My apartment is this way, do you need me to lead you?" she asked quietly.

"If you will just start in the direction of your home, I will follow the sounds of your footsteps." He said flatly.

**How stupid are you? Of course he doesn't need you to lead him. He's an S-Class criminal and probably one of the strongest shinobi alive. Why would you ask something so stupid. Your lucky he didn't try to kill you for insulting him**

_He doesn't know who I am. He thinks I'm just some random medic, remember? So I shouldn't know who he is or what he's capable of. Besides, weren't you the one who was _so _eager to trust him _not_ to kill us? Make up you mind already stupid!_

**Don't call me stupid, stupid! **

_Nice comeback._

Sakura started walking towards her apartment building with Itachi following close behind. She suppressed a shudder. The fact that a person like Itachi Uchiha was following her was unnerving to say the least.

She was forced to ignore all her ANBU instincts just to keep from running. They kept telling her that he could stick a kunai in her back before she could do anything about it. They said she was vulnerable, a sitting duck. But she ignored them all, repeating to herself _'He won't hurt me, he needs me'_ over and over again, like her own personal mantra.

But even though her instincts told her she was in danger, the truth was she wasn't afraid. Somewhere, deep within her subconscious she knew he wouldn't hurt her, at least not yet.

* * *

Sakura flipped the lights in her apartment on and held the door open for Itachi to walk in. The sound of the door shutting behind him seemed to resound throughout the entire room. It was far too late to back out now. 

She took a deep breath to prepare herself and then slipped into 'medic mode'.

"There is a door about seven steps in front of you and my bed is inside, to the left of the door. Go ahead and have a seat, I'll be right in." she said in her most professional voice.

Itachi complied and soon disappeared into her room. Sakura slipped into her living room/office where she kept all her medical scrolls and notebooks. After a quick search, she found her notes on repairing eye damage inflicted by the overuse of doujutsu.

Itachi was quite lucky to have stumbled upon _her_ of all people. She was one of the few medics in the world who knew how to heal that kind of damage. Before she left the village, Tsunade had assigned her to the rather difficult task of healing Kakashi's sharingan. It had taken her nearly a month to find the exact problem and fix it without damaging anything else.

She was one of only three other medics capable of reversing the deterioration of the eyes caused by the sharingan. The other two being Shizune and the Hokage herself.

After gathering her notes she made her way to her bedroom. Itachi was sitting on her bed just as she told him. She was almost giddy at the idea of Itachi Uchiha allowing himself to be bossed around by a medic. But she quickly sobered up and set to work.

She picked up a chair from the corner of the room and set it in front of Itachi before speaking to him. "I probably only have enough chakra for a cursory examination so there may not be any real results tonight." she said as she sat down on the chair in front of him. He made a slight nod and she took this as the 'Ok' to get started.

She raised her hands up slowly and placed them at his temples. She felt him flinch at the contact but it was so slight she almost missed it. "Are you ready?" she asked. "Hn" was the only response she got.

Itachi felt the medic's chakra surround his eyes and an immediate cooling sensation could be felt. He almost sighed in relief. The pain in his eyes had been constant for years and he had forgotten what it felt like to not be in pain.

He was pleasantly surprised. This medic was the first one to even get so far as to numbing the pain. All the others he'd been to had taken one look and told him that it was hopeless. They'd all told him that there was no possible was for his eyes to be healed, and yet this young girl was doing what every other medic had said was impossible.

* * *

He could still feel her chakra inside him but he was unable feel exactly what she was doing. It had been almost half an hour already and he could feel the girl's chakra weakening. Suddenly her hands moved away from his face and he heard her sigh softly. He could tell she was completely exhausted. 

She stood up and stretched her sore muscles. He could hear her joints cracking. She moved the chair she had been sitting on back to the corner of the room and then leaned against the wall Itachi was facing.

"You can go ahead and open your eyes if you want." She said, stifling a yawn.

Itachi opened his eyes slowly and the first thing that registered was light. He opened his eyes fully and was shocked. He could see everything. It was still a bit blurry, but he hadn't seen this good in years.

He looked around him, taking in the small room. It was almost completely bare. Not at all what he expected a young woman's room to look like. The was a bed, a night table with a simple lamp, and a chair in the corner.

His gaze finally landed on the medic standing across the room. She wore a simple black yukata with a deep purple obi. She had long dark hair and a black choker around her neck with something gleaming hanging from it. But what really caught his attention were her eyes.

Even with his less-than-perfect vision, he could still see her brilliant emerald eyes. The instant he saw them, he knew that they were familiar. He had definitely seen them before. He unconsciously activated his sharingan to get a better look, but the instant he did he felt a burning sensation in his eyes and heard the young medic shriek at him.

"GODDAMMIT, UCHIHA! YOU'RE MESSING UP ALL MY HARD WORK!" she realized her mistake a moment too late. He was directly in front of her in an instant, kunai pressing against her throat. And as she was staring into the eyes of Itachi Uchiha, she said the only thing that came to mind.

"...Shit."

Itachi pressed the kunai deeper into her skin, pressing just hard enough to draw a thin line of blood, but not nearly enough to cause permanent damage.

He moved his face directly in front of hers, speaking in a low, menacing tone. "Who are you and how do you know me?"

Sakura was at a loss on how to answer these questions. Staring into his eyes had made her mind go completely blank. Suddenly the Tomoe in his eyes began to spin and then morphed into a completely different shape. She was unable to look away quick enough before she was pulled into the world of the Tsukuyomi.

* * *

Sakura lifted her head slowly and fought to open her eyes. Her entire body felt like lead, though her arms seemed to be stretched out to the sides. She finally caught sight of the blood red sky and immediately knew where she was. 

She quickly realized that she was strapped to a cross, just as Kakashi had been years ago. But unlike Kakashi's encounter, when Itachi appeared it didn't look like he was going to torture her like he had Kakashi. He seem much more interested in something else.

Suddenly the bloody sky was replaced by what appeared to be memories. Sakura quickly recognized them as her own. She tried screaming for him to stop but her voice wouldn't come. And he just continued to rifle though her most painful memories.

The first one she saw was the day Sasuke left the village. Next was the day she found the bodies of her parents lying in the road in front of her house. The next one was one of the most painful. It was when they finally caught up with Sasuke. She remembered Sasuke powering up his chidori and lunging for her. She took the full brunt of the hit in the center of her back.

As she lay there, trying to stop the bleeding, the fight between Naruto and Sasuke continued until each managed to strike a fatal blow. Sakura managed to drag herself over to Naruto and tried in vain to heal the gaping hole in his chest. He managed to lift his head up one last time to whisper something in her ear, before he succumbed to his injuries and his beautiful cerulean eyes slid shut for the last time.

The last memory they saw was Sakura clutching a dead ANBU to her chest, screaming franticly for help. Then everything went black. Itachi attempted to dive into her memories again but he was blocked by something.

Suddenly out of the darkness, came a figure. It appeared to be the young medic, however she had what looked like a tattoo on her forehead that said 'Inner'. She continued to advance on the Uchiha until she stood nose to nose with him.

He turned his head toward the girl still strapped to the cross, sobbing. "What is this?" he asked, coldly

The 'Inner' stepped between him and the medic, blocking his view. **"I should be the one asking the questions here. So who the hell are you and what are you doing in **_**my**_** mind?" **the 'inner' shouted.

"If I'm not mistaken this is the young medics' mind, so what exactly are you?" he asked calmly.

"**I am the master and guardian of this dimension and **_**you**_** are intruding. You've caused quite enough damage for one day. Look at her." **she pointed to the sobbing girl on the cross. "**She hasn't cried in three years and suddenly **_**you**_** appear and now she's broken down again.**

The 'inner' stepped closer to him and spoke in a low voice. **"Now I think it's time for you to leave."**

"Do not presume to give me orders little girl. I control this realm and I am not finished here." Itachi said, his irritation starting to show.

Suddenly the entire bloody red world morphed into a field of cherry blossoms under a bright blue sky. Sakura lay peacefully under the trees as if sleeping. Itachi stood in awe. No one had ever been able to manipulate his genjustu to their own advantage before.

The 'inner' stepped right in front of him **"Wrong again." **she said before lifting her arms and giving him a hard shove. At the same moment he could feel a build up of chakra near his real body.

Suddenly he was expelled from the girls mind and at the same time his real body was sent flying across the room.

As he recovered his senses, his mind was reeling. What was that alternate personality and how could it affect him? No one had ever broken out of his doujutsu before, but this girl had done it with ease. However Itachi was forced to put these questions on hold for the moment because as he looked around the room he noticed two very important things.

The first being that the medic was leaning against the wall in such a way that made it obvious she had no more strength left. That last burst of chakra she had used to force him from her mind had apparently used up any reserves she had left. In fact, it appeared that she would collapse any second.

The second and more important thing he noticed was that his sharingan was noticeably dimmer than it had ever been before. Not only that, but the natural vision he had just moments before was now gone. His blindness had returned, only now it was worse than before.

He looked to the girl across the room. She was using all of her strength just to keep herself upright. But her lack of energy didn't concern him in the least. "What did you do to my eyes?" he asked.

Although his voice seemed quiet and calm, Sakura could hear the rage boiling underneath and if she hadn't been so woozy, she probably would have been scared. But, as it was, she just said the first thing that came to mind. "It's _your _own damn fault, baka! You did it to yourself by activating the sharingan, you dobe!"

Itachi's eyebrow raised slightly at her comment and the beginnings of smirk formed on his lips before he quickly dismissed it and returned to his cold exterior.

As she spoke her body began sliding down the wall and her words became softer, to the point that Itachi had to step closer to the girl to hear them. Her word were quiet and slightly slurred as she continued. "By activating the sharingan, you forced large amounts of chakra through all of the nerves that I healed. At that point even though they were healed the were still raw and vulnerable."

Her body seemed to slump against the wall even more and she was no longer able to lift her head to look at the Uchiha. "I'm gonna pass out soon, so I won't be able to heal your eyes till sometime tomorrow. And if you keep your sharingan on all night then by tomorrow you won't be able to see anything, at least not till I'm finished healing you."

He nodded his head slightly "I understand." He was about to move into the other room, to give the girl privacy, when he heard a quiet, bitter laugh coming from her. He turned around and saw the girls head was laid back against the wall, looking upwards. Slowly her gaze turned to him and she locked eyes with him.

He could now see the tears streaming down her face, and a bitter smile adorning her lips. "Why?" she whispered. He could see that her consciousness was fading and her voice wavered as she struggled to speak a few last words.

"Why do…Uchihas'…_always_…make me…cry?"

And with that her body slumped to the floor.

* * *

So? What do you think? 

**btw: I have some fanart on my deviantArt account to go along with this story. The links are in my profile. **

Review Please!


	4. Chapter 4

**AN:I have some fanart for chapters 1-3 and the links are in my profile**

**Okay people, here it is****, my longest chapter yet!  
**

* * *

**Raison d'être **(plural raisons d'être[2 or raison d'être)

1. The claimed reason for the existence of something or someone; the purpose of something or someone.

2. A "reason for being"

* * *

**Chapter 4**

Consciousness slowly seeped back into Sakura's mind as she assessed her surroundings. She knew she was in her own bed, wrapped in her warm covers. But she couldn't understand why she was still dressed or why she still had her dark wig on.

As she was mulling things over in her mind she remained absolutely still, keeping her breathing steady. Even when half asleep, her ANBU instincts didn't falter for a second.

Suddenly she felt a presence in the room with her. A kunai swiftly flew from beneath her pillow and in the direction of the presence. She heard the dull thunk of the kunai hitting the wall and knew she had missed.

She sprang from her bed, a second kunai in hand, and took up a defensive pose. However she quickly faltered. Sitting in a chair against the wall was none other than Uchiha Itachi. The kunai she had previously thrown was imbedded in the wall, only inches from his head.

She relaxed her stance and set the kunai on the bedside table before sitting back down on the bed with a sigh. "Sorry about that. Instinct took over for a second."

Itachi had been in deep thought when he sensed the kunai aimed for his head. He had been reflecting on all of the memories he saw while inside the kunoichi's mind. While it was clear that she was a Konoha kunoichi with some connection to his younger brother, he still couldn't place how he knew her.

The girl was obviously at ANBU level to be able to sense _his_ presence and aim so accurately, while still half asleep. The question was why she was in some remote village _alone_, working as a simple medic. And more importantly _why_, after realizing who he was, did she agree to help him?

Sakura had recovered her memories of what had happened the previous evening, but something bothered her. When she fell unconscious, she knew she was slumped against the wall, yet somehow she made to her bed and under her covers without realizing it.

Had Itachi moved her there? That was the only possible explanation, and yet it didn't make sense. Why would he go to the trouble of moving her when he could have just left her on the floor? She quickly put those thoughts aside; she would have time to think about it later. Right now she was hungry and her stomach would not be ignored.

Itachi heard some rustling, presumably the girl getting off the bed again. "Are you hungry?" she asked politely.

He shook his head in the negative. Her footsteps moved out of the room, where he heard some rustling, and she padded back in and set something on the bedside table.

Despite that fact that he still had many questions for this girl, there was something even more important he needed to know. "What exactly happened to my eyesight?" He asked.

She sighed again and sat down on the bed. It seemed her stomach would have to wait after all. At least until she had answered his questions. She took a deep breath before speaking.

"The process I used before was simply a temporary measure. I covered all of the damaged nerves connected to your natural eye with healing chakra, temporarily returning your eyesight. I did this to ascertain the full extent of the damage to your eyes. However, when you activated your sharingan and then the mangekyo, all of the progress I had made was undone."

She shifted slightly on the bed before continuing. "As you know, prolonged use of the sharingan, particularly the higher forms: Mangekyo, Tsukuyomi and Amaterasu, cause an excess of chakra to be forced through the chakra channels and nerves surrounding the eye. As a result the tissue surrounding the eyes becomes scorched by the chakra and the natural eyesight becomes diminished."

She stood up, picked something up from the bedside table and slowly walked toward Itachi. She continued her explanation as she moved closer to him.

"If left untreated the damage will begin to affect vision through the sharingan as well. In order to heal the damaged tissue and nerves, I will have to destroy the damaged cells and rebuild each one. This process will take some time and may be painful for you."

Itachi felt her hand take his gently and he tensed slightly before he felt a glass being pressed into his hand. She did the same to his other hand only this time she placed what felt like an apple into it.

"You're going to need the energy if you want me to heal your eyes today." She explained.

He looked down at the items in his hands warily, with unseeing eyes. He was vulnerable and whatever she gave him could be poisoned.

As if sensing his thoughts, she grasped the hand holding the water glass and brought it, along with his hand, to her mouth and took a sip. She did the same thing with the apple, making sure that his hand was still on it before taking a bite.

"There, no poison. Are you satisfied?" she asked forcing her words out in an annoyed tone. Truthfully she was quite grateful that he couldn't see her. She could feel a bright red blush spread across her face.

He responded "Hn." in a satisfied tone and began eating the apple.

"Well I'm going to get myself something to eat. Since it's almost noon we should probably get started on your eyes as soon as we're finished." She said, moving toward the kitchen.

But his words stopped her in her tracks. "Actually I still have some questions about you, in particular, your real identity." Truthfully, he really wanted to demand that she tell him how she knew so much about the sharingan. A person with such knowledge could be a threat to him. However he did still need her to heal his eyes and he had a feeling that she wouldn't take too well to being threatened.

She tensed slightly. She knew this was coming but she wasn't quite ready to answer him. "I will answer all your questions in regards to my identity after I finish with your eyes. As late as it is, I probably won't be able to finish until late tonight, so we need to get started as soon a possible."

Despite his burning curiosity, Itachi decided he could wait until after she'd healed him to interrogate her.

She took his "Hn" as agreement and slipped out of the room to get herself some food.

* * *

After breakfast, Sakura asked Itachi to sit on the bed again. She then sat cross legged next to him and positioned her back against the headboard. "I know this may be a little uncomfortable, but I need you to lay your head in my lap." She said softly. 

He gave her a slightly suspicious look before placing his head on her lap. Sakura's blush returned in full force at their awkward position. "I know it's a bit strange, but this healing will take several hours and I need you to keep still otherwise I might lose my concentration."

She felt him nod slightly in understanding.

Sakura hesitated slightly; her inner self was going wild at the fact that she had a gorgeous man's head in her lap. Despite the fact that her inner self hated the Uchiha for mind-raping her, she still had no problem ogling him now that he was vulnerable.

**He soo hot! Why don't we jump him as soon as we're finished with his eyes, or better yet, lets just jump him now when he defenseless!**

_There will be no jumping of the S-class criminal. Understand?_

**You're no fun at all. I mean look at him! You can definitely tell he's a shinobi. All that rippling muscle, hidden away under a thin piece of fabric. And look at that face, Sasuke's got nothing on him. Sasuke always had a kinda soft, feminine face, but not Itachi. He's all man! And he's just lying there, helpless.**

_He's a patient, that's all._

**Come on, you can't tell me that you don't find him the least bit attractive. I'm you remember, I know your feelings even better than you do.**

_Are you saying that I have feelings for him now? Why don't you just shut up so I can heal him already? As soon as we're done, we're gonna pack everything up and ditch this village. We've been here too long anyways._

**You're such a killjoy, and here I was trying to get you laid! I mean come on! We haven't been with a guy in three years!**

_That's enough! Now shut up so I can concentrate._

Inner Sakura retreated into a corner of her mind, sulking. Sakura gave a silent sigh of relief at her absence. She cracked her fingers and then gently placed them on Itachi's temples. Her cool chakra began flowing into him and with that, the healing process commenced.

* * *

Sakura rolled her shoulders slightly, trying to get a kink out. She had finally finished fixing the last few damaged cells and was coating the entire area with a sort of 'protective chakra.' 

She looked down at Itachi's face as she removed her hands. His body was completely still and his breathing was deep and steady. She was sure he was asleep but he suddenly spoke, startling her slightly,

"Have you finished?" he asked in his deep, cool voice.

"Umm, yes, I'm done but you need to keep your eyes shut for now." She answered.

He sat up slowly, removing himself from her lap. "If you want, you can follow me to the kitchen and I'll make you something to eat."

His only response was "Hn"

Sakura got off the bed and walked to the kitchen, with Itachi following close behind. "There's a chair about three feet in front of you, if you want to sit down." She said.

She busied herself in the kitchen, preparing the only thing she had in stock, ramen. Itachi took a seat and waited patently for her to finish. Sakura placed a bowl of steaming hot ramen in front of him and placed the chopsticks in his hand.

"I have some things I need to do around the apartment so when you're done just make your self comfortable. By the time I'm finished you should be able to open your eyes safely." She said as she moved out of the kitchen, leaving Itachi to eat in peace.

* * *

Sakura gathered all her medical texts and notes and sealed them inside a scroll before stuffing it into a backpack. She did the same with the few personal items she kept around. Next were her clothes, minus one pair, and wigs. 

She then collected all of the weapons stashed around her apartment and placed them, along with one pair of clothing, on the far side her bed.

She looked down at herself and wrinkled her nose. She needed to shower…bad. So she quickly shed her clothes and made her way into the bathroom.

* * *

Itachi had already finished eating and had been listening to the sound of the medic bustling around the small apartment. It sounded like she was gathering things up, but for what he didn't know. Now it sounded like she was in the shower. 

She had finished healing his eyes as promised but she had yet to explain exactly who she was. It seemed as though she was attempting to evade telling him the truth, but that was futile. As soon as she was finished showering, he would get his answers, by force if necessary.

* * *

Sakura ran her fingers through her short pink hair, grateful to no longer be wearing a wig. She sighed as the steaming hot water coursed over her body, removing the sweat, dirt and grime that had accumulated over the past two days. 

She lingered in the shower until the water turned cold. She was putting off getting out on purpose. She didn't want to explain who she really was or why she was way out here instead of in Konoha.

She wasn't afraid that Itachi would try to kill her; she simply didn't want to relive all those memories. But there was no point in putting off the inevitable.

Sakura quickly toweled off and put on her chest bindings and a pair of black pants that looked identical to her ANBU pair. She stepped out of the bathroom and into her bedroom only to find Itachi sitting there, eyes closed, waiting for her.

"Umm…Hi!" she said, attempting to cover her reaction. She quickly reached next to him and snatched the shirt that she had laid there earlier. As she was busy putting the shirt on, he spoke.

"I believe we have something to discuss." He said, in a cool tone.

Sakura sighed softly "Well first of all you can open your eyes. I think that will explain most of it."

Itachi slowly opened his eyes, his sharingan deactivated. His gaze fell on the woman before him. She wore black sandals, what appeared to be black standard issue ANBU pants, and a black low cut halter top showing off her midriff.

Her clothing showed off a toned physique that was definitely that of a shinobi. But he knew all of this already. When he reached her face, all of the pieces fell into place. She had soft pink lips, angular features, and the most brilliant emerald eyes.

But what really gave it away was her short, choppy, pink hair with long strands in the front framing her face. He knew this girl. She had been the teammate of his little brother and the kyuubi. The girl who was hopelessly in love with his little oto-kun. The same girl who had helped to kill Sasori years earlier.

She was the former apprentice of Tsunade and a powerful medic-nin. She was also the girl he had seen three years prior, amidst the bodies of more than twenty rogue-nins. The girl who had peaked his curiosity during their brief conversation in the woods.

If he recalled correctly, her name was Haruno Sakura. It had been said that her abilities surpassed that of her mentor, both in healing powers and strength. And now here she was, living under an assumed name, in a backwater village, working as a simple medic.

During his mental evaluation of the girl, he _almost_ missed the most important detail. His eyesight! It was as sharp as it had been when he was a child. His eyes had not been this good since he was fourteen.

He paused in his silent musings to look at the girl with his perfected vision. She was actually quiet attractive. She had a long lean body, defined features, and she had grown into her previously oversized forehead.

He could also clearly make out now, what was hanging from her choker. It was a diamond engagement ring. A somewhat strange thing to have hanging on a choker, but before he could mull over the reasons for such a thing, she cleared her throat.

"I'm guessing from your reaction that I don't have to tell you who I am." She said

"No, I remember you quite well, especially from our last encounter." He replied. But he still had at least one burning question for her. "Given who you are and your affection for my brother and the kyuubi, why would you heal me?"

"You know, I've been asking myself that very same question." She said. "But the truth is I'm not your enemy any longer. I'm a missing-nin now and even though I thought I hated you before, I don't any longer. I guess I never really did in the first place."

He raised an eyebrow, urging her to continue.

"I thought I hated you because of Sasuke and I do despise what you did to him, but to_really_ hate someone, you have to know them. And although I may know quite a bit about you, I don't really _know_ you." She leaned herself against the wall before continuing.

"As a child I was very naive. I thought that everything was black and white. I thought that we were the good guys and everyone we fought were the bad guys. It took me a long time to realize the truth. We were simply mercenaries sanctioned by our countries' leader. We took on jobs for almost anyone in order to bring money into the village. We were simply tools to be used for the sake of the village's prosperity."

"It took you so long to learn something that is taught academy students?" he asked, rather amused. She made a face at him, but continued.

"I had a lot of childish ideals. But the truth became glaringly apparent when I was assigned to the squad to retrieve Sasuke. As the hokage's apprentice I was allowed access to the sealed files regarding the Uchiha clan. The council knew about everything that your clan did. They knew how any child who showed any potential with the sharingan was put into a special program. They knew that the most talented, such as yourself, were purposely desensitized as part of their training. And that the training often included brainwashing them to be completely loyal to the clan. The council didn't care what they did as long as they continued producing such talented shinobi. They probably could have prevented the massacre if they had stepped in but they didn't want to risk losing the sharingan."

Itachi was slightly surprised that she knew so much about his clan and their practices. Everything she spoke of was true. His clan had even tried using types of mind control. His mind had been stronger than the clan believed, so their attempts on him had failed. But he had played the part of the loyal prodigy perfectly. No one knew the truth. No one but Shisui.

He had one friend as a child. One person to whom he confided in. And that person had betrayed him. That betrayal had set off a chain reaction that started with the death of Shisui and ended with the massacre of the Uchiha clan.

At the time, Sasuke was the youngest person in the clan and the only one who hadn't undergone their special 'training' yet. He left Sasuke alive because he was the only innocent one in the entire clan. And even though he was innocent, Itachi couldn't help but hate him a little.

Their mother had protected Sasuke. She was the only reason he hadn't endured the traditional training program. She let them do whatever they wanted with Itachi, but she protected Sasuke.

Itachi made Sasuke hate him so that his only drive in life would be revenge. And so that in the end he would have the death he deserved, at the hands of an Uchiha. But Sasuke was far weaker than he imagined.

He tried to take a shortcut to power by joining Orochimaru. But there were no shortcuts, no fast and easy routes to becoming powerful. Sasuke never learned that, and in the end, it got him killed.

And yet the young medic before him seemed to have learned what Sasuke never could. She had been the weakest member of her team and without any kekkei genkai or special abilities she had become one of the strongest shinobi of her generation.

She was still weak compared to him, but for her to have overcome what she had, showed strength that Sasuke never possessed.

Itachi was pulled from his reminiscing by the girl clearing her throat. She looked at him expectantly.

"Look, now that you know who I am, could you tell me why you came to _this_ village?" she asked

"I heard rumors about a powerful medic in the area." He said simply.

She swore softly at his answer. He raised an eyebrow at her reaction. She noticed his expression and proceeded to explain. "There are still a few ANBU squads after me and if you heard rumors about me then they're probably on their way here right now." She paused to think for a moment. "Look, it's pretty late now and the inn is closed. If you wanna crash here, there's an extra futon in the living room. But I'm leaving in the morning. You probably should too unless you want to run into those ANBU." She turned around to leave the room, not bothering to wait for a response. He stood to follow her but stopped when he caught sight of her back.

"That scar." He said quietly. Sakura stopped and turned her head back to look at him.

"Huh?" she asked. She followed his gaze to the large scar on her back that was centered between her shoulder blades. "Oh, that. It was a gift from your brother." She said calmly as she turned her head back and continued walking. "It was the only thing he ever gave me." She laughed softly as she spoke, but he could hear the bitterness in her tone.

He would recognize that scar anywhere, although he had never before seen it on someone who was still alive. The idea that she could have survived such an attack was incredible.

He thought back to the memories he had witnessed in her mind. He remembered seeing Sasuke lunging at her; lit chidori in hand, but then the memory had skipped forward to when he and the kyuubi were fighting. This girl had been there when Sasuke met his end. Not only that, but she had survived a direct hit from the chidori.

As he followed her out of the room, something still puzzled him. "Why would you keep such a scar?" he asked. He wasn't sure why, but this girl made him more curious than he had ever been. And that could be dangerous. However he couldn't stop himself from wondering why a medic as skilled as she was would not simply remove the scar.

He said as much to her as she unrolled a spare futon and laid it out on the floor.

"Actually it was removed. At least as much as it could be. Wounds that are caused by chakra are much more difficult to heal. And healing a wound caused by that much concentrated, unstable chakra is nearly impossible. That hit broke 5 ribs, punctured my lung in three places, caused massive internal bleeding and damaged my spine."

She said, not stopping once from her task of preparing him a place to sleep. "I went through three surgeries to repair all of the internal damage, but the scar is permanent. Then again, it's not like I could forget that day anyways, even without this scar."

She finished setting out the futon and moved towards her bedroom. "Well, I'm exhausted. I gonna get some sleep. You're welcome to stay if you want. Oh and don't use your sharingan for the next twenty-four hours." And with that she closed the door to her bedroom and went to sleep.

* * *

**AN:**** Ok, before anyone complains about Itachi sleeping in Sakura's apartment, there are a few things I'd like to say. First of all, I've read a lot of Ita/Saku fics and many of them show Itachi as some sort of superhuman who doesn't ever need sleep, and (unless he and Sakura have just had a night of mind-blowing sex) refuses to sleep in the presence of others. I don't really agree with that. Itachi may be incredibly strong but he is still human and he does need sleep. I agree that he would be very cautious about sleeping in the presence of others, but I think in this case he is exhausted and he realizes that if Sakura was going to try something, she would have already done so. Plus he is confident enough in his own abilities, that if she were to try something, he would sense her presence long before she was able to act.**

* * *

**Now, the Pretty List**

Karleta-chan  
j  
Goddess Psyche  
M-Mello  
roxnroll  
dearhydrus  
Secret world  
WaterKitty  
FenrirWolfSpirit

Thank you all for your wonderful reviews

Everyone else: **Please review. **


	5. Chapter 5

**AN: I know this took a little longer than I said but I've been kinda sick lately so uploading this chapter wasn't exactly a priority. Sorry. I'm working on chapter 6 but it might take a while. I hope this will tide you over till I get the next chapter out.**

Disclaimer: blah blah blah... you know the drill, I don't own anything.

* * *

**Raison d'être **(plural raisons d'être[2 or raison d'être)

1. The claimed reason for the existence of something or someone; the purpose of something or someone.

2. A "reason for being"

* * *

**Chapter 5**

It was strange. As Itachi lay there on the slightly lumpy futon, he realized that he hadn't really thought about the past in years. But after the conversation he had with the medic, all of those old memories came flooding back.

Back then, Sasuke always looked up to him, wanting to be just like his big brother. He wanted their father's attention too, but he had no idea what the price of that attention was. Sasuke had been the only person in the entire clan that Itachi could stand.

But it all started to go wrong. When Itachi joined ANBU, his loyalties to the clan were questioned. After he found out that Shisui had been informing the clan leaders of his lack of faith in the clan, he had gone into a blind rage.

He never meant to kill Shisui, but the shock of his betrayal had been too much. It was only afterwards that he realized how the next stage of the sharingan was attained. He read through all of the clan's secret files and learned the truth. They were a cursed clan, their bloodline tainted by one man's lust for power.

In the past, before Konoha was founded, their sharingan was not nearly as powerful as it was now. It was much like the byakugan, in that it could see through deception, but that was all. And the clan was fine with that. They had no wish for more power.

But one man had changed that. Madara Uchiha decided to cleanse the Uchiha clan and start anew. He massacred the entire clan and then struck a deal with a demon. But not just any demon, the most powerful demon. The only demon that had not been summoned to the earth and sealed inside a human container. The Kyuubi.

He made a deal with the kyuubi to make his sharingan more powerful and in return, he would release the kyuubi and allow him to roam free. So the sharingan grew in power, Madara revived his clan, and the kyuubi was released.

However, when the hidden villages started to plan ways to capture and seal the kyuubi, he became angry. He knew that only Madara knew how the kyuubi could be sealed and so, before he was sealed inside the infant Naruto, he cursed the Uchiha clan, ensuring that through their lust for power, they would destroy themselves.

That lust for power had been passed down the generations, to all who wielded the sharingan. And in the name of power, the clan had inflicted unspeakable tortures on their children. They even planned the assassination of the hokage in order to take control of the village. There was no limit to what they would do for power.

When Itachi learned all of this, the perfectly loyal mask he had always worn, began to slip. He saw their clan for what it really was, and the weakness of their hearts became clear. They lusted for power but did not have the strength to acquire it on their own.

Just as the man who founded their clan, they desired ultimate power but refused to achieve it by their own means. Instead they relied on their position as the law within Konoha. Then they used Itachi's power to gain a foothold in ANBU. They were weak and foolish, control by their blood.

He knew that the Uchiha bloodline was cursed and needed to be cleansed again, only this time they needed to be wiped from the face of the earth, never to return. His motives for killing them had nothing to do with their treatment of him and others like him. It had nothing to do with stopping their assassination of the hokage. He couldn't have cared less about their training methods or the death of the hokage. His only real motivation was his utter disgust at how weak they all were.

That weakness was a part of their blood and it repulsed him that the same blood flowed through his veins. It was true that he managed to overcome their shortcomings, but the thought that the Uchiha's tainted bloodline would continue on, infecting every future generation with their weakness, sickened him.

The weakness of the Uchiha clan became even more apparent the night of the massacre. Itachi slipped through the compound and dispatched them all with ease. Even with them on alert since the death of Shisui, even with all the preparations they had made since realizing Itachi's loyalty did not lie with them, he was still able to completely destroy them in one night without raising the suspicions of the rest of the village.

He then instilled such hatred in Sasuke that he would never have peace. So that he would pursue Itachi until the end. So that he would never have the opportunity to revive their wretched clan. But Sasuke had failed. He lost himself to the lust for power in his blood and the weakness in his heart.

And with Sasuke's failure, Itachi had lost his reason for being. He didn't even have chasing the kyuubi to occupy his time now. He also no longer needed to continue to test the limits of his power. He knew his limits now. He knew that the eyes that were so feared and yet sought after, were a weakness.

As he laid there, mind slowly drifting off, he realized that he would need to find a new reason for being, a new raison d'etre. Because he was not the type to drift aimlessly through life and his pride would not allow him to simply give up.

In his semiconscious state, he could come up with no ideas regarding his new reason for being. He finally decided to let the matter go for now, and contented himself to listening to the soft sounds around the apartment. Unbeknownst to him, it was the sound of the young medic's deep steady breathing, in the other room, that eventually lulled him to sleep.

* * *

Itachi woke the instant he heard Sakura's bedroom door open. But he remained still, feigning sleep. He heard her quietly moving about the apartment, gathering things up. She reentered the living room and he opened his eyes slowly to look at her.

"Oh good, your up." She said as he sat up from the futon. She looked at him for a moment, silently cursing him for the fact that he could look perfect after just having woken up.

He stood up and looked towards the door, noticing a large pack and katana leaning against the wall. He turned his attention back to the medic, who had set a cup of coffee on the coffee table in front of him. She moved to the chair across from the couch, her own cup of coffee in hand, and took a seat.

She took slow sips of her drink while waiting for him to sit down. He took a seat on the couch and noticed a small spiral notebook sitting on the table between them. Sakura cleared her throat as she tried to think of a way to start.

"Normally I would tell you to discontinue using the sharingan if you wanted to keep your eyesight. But somehow I don't think that would work in this case." She paused to take another sip. "So here it is: I can't fix your eyes. So long as you use the sharingan they will continue to deteriorate and there is no way to prevent that. However, if you find a decent medic once a month and give them this-" she picked up the notebook on the table. "- they should be able to repair the damage before it becomes too severe." She handed him the notebook before continuing.

"I made sure that my notes don't contain any information about the sharingan. It's just simple instructions on how to repair the damaged nerves connected to your natural eyes. If you choose not to go to a medic, you will be completely blind within six months."

He nodded slightly in understanding and she got up from the chair and moved to the door. He stood as well and followed her to the door as she strapped on her katana and slung the backpack over her shoulders.

They both made their way out of the apartment building and headed in opposite directions.

* * *

Sakura flew though the trees, headed to the next village, her body on auto-pilot. Her mind was racing with everything that had happened. Who would have ever though that she would have an encounter with Uchiha Itachi and live to tell about it; much less have a civil conversation with him.

_Well as civil as it could be considering that he hardly said two words the entire time._

**No kidding! He decided to go all stoic on us. I hate that! He could have at least thanked us. Ungrateful bastard!**

_It's not like we expected him to be all chatty or eternally grateful. He is an Uchiha you know._

**Yeah, Sasuke learned from the best.**

_Actually, I think Sasuke was worse than him. At least Itachi was polite._

**Only after he mind-raped us and we knocked him across the room.**

Sakura winced slightly, remembering the ordeal.

_At least he didn't call us weak or pathetic or annoying._

**That's because we aren't weak, pathetic, or annoying anymore.**

_And he didn't come at us with a lit chidori in hand. That alone makes this encounter better than the last one we had with Sasuke._

**Are you defending him!?!**

_Of course not! I'm merely pointing out that the last two times we met him he never once tried to kill us. Sasuke, on the other hand, tried to kill us every time we saw him for the last five years of his life._

**You do have a point. I guess its official then. We like Itachi more than Sasuke.**

_I-But-It's-That's not what I meant and you know it! Stop twisting my words around._

Sakura pushed forward, quickening her pace as she tried to ignore her inner self breaking into fits of laughter. It was going to be a long trip.

* * *

**AN: Sorry about the shortness of the chapter, but it's sort of a transitional chapter. After this there will be a short time skip. I'm hoping to get the next chapter done soon but at the moment I'm kinda stuck. I'm not sure if I've getting inspiration from my muse or if this is all just the insane ramblings of the demons in my head. Either way I will find a way to kick their butts into gear so I can finish chapter six.**

**Thank you all for reading and reviewing. You've been a great help.**

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**Thank you all for your reviews. They keep me going.**


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